Liquor and Lace Bachelorette Pub Crawl 8/7/2010

DISCLAIMER:
These are my memories. Because I don't care to protect the privacy of others, names have not been changed, though some characters have been conflated and incidents condensed. If you don't like it, you shouldn't have been at my bachelorette party, sucka.

If you ever needed a less obvious incentive to stay together, for better or worse, through sickness and in health, the all-mighty bachelorette party might just be reason enough.

We celebrated my "last night" as a single woman by pub hopping in Downtown Sacramento. And though our list of bars was pretty short, we seemed to make it most of the day and night.



The party started at 3:30pm at Hamburger Patties. I walked in (late... of course) to an enormous table full of beautiful women and delicious drinks. I realized how splendid my evening was going to be when the bartender handed me my vodsky and cherry soda water and uttered those sweet, sweet words, "It's on the house... have fun, bride-to-be."

Ooohhhh snap.



Then we were off to the next bar, Streets of London, where the real fun began. We busted out the penis dare cards and handed one to each lady. Each card had three options... one worth 2 points, one worth 5 points, and one worth 10. Depending on how daring you were feeling, you could chose to complete the level you were most comfortable with. Most of my girls, absolute fucking troopers, completed the 10 pointers. Love my hoes!






Next stop... Shady Lady! There was no shortage of 86-inducing behavior. First my ladies greeted me with a full round cheer, which really annoyed most of the bar's patrons. But fuck 'em. Or butt fuck 'em. Which ever you prefer.



Quite a bit occurred in this bar. We met the first two sets of the evenings groupies. I took naked photos in the photo booth. And I traced a guy's penis on the backside of a receipt. This may be where I began making out with all of my friends, too. Who's really keeping track.

Onto the next one...
Torch Club where I finally decided to spend the rest of my evening in flip flops and got to rock out with the band. The bartender was sweet enough to keep refilling my boobie flask, too... which I can't imagine was a bad deal for him.





Then to Hangar 17, where we were pretty well on our best behavior given the table full of Sac Sheriffs watching us out of the corners of their eyes. But this is where we had the punch bowl drinks... holy banana hammock.





After skipping a couple of bars on the agenda, we finally landed at Benny's... my absolute favorite bar. Can't give you too much detail about our time here because... well... I don't fucking remember much of it. But everyone tells me I had a really great time.

The evening was eventful to say the least.
From finding the bag of clothes in the bushes and trying them on...



To asking the cop if we could take a picture in front of his patrol car...



To peeing in the men's bathroom...



To say that I'm still tired is an understatement. I'd like to officially apologize to all of the bartenders I hassled, men I verbally molested, and girlfriends I physically molested. You truly made my night one of the most memorable ever!